Stream of Consciousness:: "Hello Again!"

So here I am. Its been a while. Summer comes, and I am inundated with children and activities. I throw myself so completely into life around my children that I think I forget that I like to write. I have trouble getting into the moment without quiet. This is odd, because I used to think I liked activity to get me writing. What I like is activity around me that lets me work. That doesn't happen when my kids need me. 

I enjoy writing. Before, in High School and in College, I used to write because I had to. I don't mind writing because I have to. But after all the papers and stuff, you get older and "over it" in some ways. I want to know that i'm making a difference, I want to not be writing more than just a little journal on line. So why, then, do I write?

writing. for why. for why not.

for because

for to get words on paper

for to not be forgotten.

for to say what needs to be said.

what needs to be said? why do I write?

I write because life is beautiful, and God is good despite everything.

I write because I'm hungry

I write not to rant

I write sometimes to rant

I write because the page always listens, whether handwritten or typed.

The page always hears you whether your tears are wrong or not. 

especially when you know your tears are wrong.

I worry. I worry when I write that I'm being read. I worry if no one reads, then what kind of writer am I?But if I worry if I'm being read, then what kind of writer am I?

Sometimes I feel like there's different versions of me. And I suppose there are. I'm still me, but I adapt to suit situations. There are months when I'll sew like a fiend, finishing off project after project. Then, there'll be times when I haven't touched the sewing machine for months. The same holds true for baking, playing instruments, and writing. I think in the summer, my time gets away from me. I focus on my children, spending the days with them adventuring. It's hard for me to be introspective enough to write. So I do other projects that can be done easily while I'm surrounded by people. I found myself doing a great deal of sewing this summer.

Life giving? Yes, this is indeed life giving. My heart feels good having written.

Hello again dear readers. Happy September